Video 30 Sep 1 note

fishymans wharf, san francisco

so a bit further up the coast we finally go to san fran its hilly its really really hilly i didnt want to drive so much in san fran as the parking is a nightmare so pretty much got rolled on that one because muneek has really tiny legs which mean widdle baby steps and she got all “tired and sweepy fwom all the steps” but alas fear not true believer all it took was a dewishus powerbeer to energise her then we eventually defeated the whole city in a walking battle although it took my heart it was still a romantic drive off into the sunset across the golden gate and into a lovely beginning of the end of the beginning 

Text 29 Sep 566 notes

"it’s too 80’s"

get the hell away from me

(Source: beldar-conehead)

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Photo 28 Sep 639,219 notes 6sister6sin6:

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 I love Tumblr.
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Text 27 Sep 1 note

iOS8 predictive text poetry : pick one or two words to start with and then choose from the three available options for each next word.

Photo 27 Sep 1 note apple almost got it right good on them for trying though (muneeks name was two napas a few months back after we we’re planning out our honeymoon studying a map of california battling over where the napa valley was i was saying it was north up near san francisco and she wouldnt back down “NO IT SOUTH IM SURE OF IT YOU FAT WOG” - minutes later i would find it and she still didnt back down “WELL OBVIOUSLY THERE MUST BE TWO NAPAS” even after being so clearly wrong she resorted to claiming there were two different napa valleysi have married a beautiful pwincesss

apple almost got it right good on them for trying though (muneeks name was two napas a few months back after we we’re planning out our honeymoon studying a map of california battling over where the napa valley was i was saying it was north up near san francisco and she wouldnt back down “NO IT SOUTH IM SURE OF IT YOU FAT WOG” - minutes later i would find it and she still didnt back down “WELL OBVIOUSLY THERE MUST BE TWO NAPAS” even after being so clearly wrong she resorted to claiming there were two different napa valleys
i have married a beautiful pwincesss

Video 26 Sep 2 notes

madonna inn, san luis obispo

have to hand it to magic person muneek walkwee she booked this place ages ago and i rubbished it off yeah yeah yeah i seen it all baby WOW this place is the funnest hotel not sexiest definitely not sexiest but every room has a theme we got the blue room and it had a round bed i was stressing out all night though where do you buy round sheets and how do you fold round fitted sheets i have had trouble all my life folding fitted sheets and they look so unattractive in the linen closet :/ it also had its own hideous restaurant with a band playing covers they were pretty tight for old guys but then they tricked me by playing dire straits i didnt recognise it at first and everyone still thought i looked cool and i think i was even tapping my foot but then i remembered what it was and i was so angry for the rest of the night but then muneek didnt pull up so well the morning after and it was pretty cute look at her ive got videos of her i made her wave in one of them 

Photo 26 Sep 1 note venice beach
before we started our roadtrip up the pacific coast highway we stopped at venezia i wanted to show magic person muneek that its actually st kilda on roids but the homeless people here do magic tricks i had to leave her alone for 5mins or so and she got swarmed by 4 faux-jamaican guys on rollerblades selling homemade cds fortunately she didnt by any even though rumor has it they were autographed ultimately she was unimpressed 

venice beach

before we started our roadtrip up the pacific coast highway we stopped at venezia i wanted to show magic person muneek that its actually st kilda on roids but the homeless people here do magic tricks i had to leave her alone for 5mins or so and she got swarmed by 4 faux-jamaican guys on rollerblades selling homemade cds fortunately she didnt by any even though rumor has it they were autographed ultimately she was unimpressed 

Video 26 Sep 2 notes

missed a turn off on the freeway casu consulto things didnt turn out so bad but then i remembered i was renting a convertible 

Video 26 Sep 2 notes

picked up our rental from avis i flirted like a champ for the sweet sweet upgrade but things didnt turn out quite the way i planned and got stuck with a convertible - something a badass like myself should never be caught driving oh well at least i got muneek riding shotgun maybe i should of sent her to battle the avis guardian though

Photo 26 Sep 174,848 notes

(Source: rulesofthirds)

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Text 26 Sep 1 note

Anonymous said: What is a bread basket?

i dont about baskets but wogs normally keep a bread box thing in the kitchen which you dream of finding a delicious ciabatta but its never there its always a panettone and even then its for the guests only those scumbags dont even appeciate it im here right now anyway life goes on 

Video 26 Sep

didnt really leave the chateau much for the first week but got to share the essentials with magic person muneek walkwee

Video 26 Sep 3 notes

they dont love it when you run around taking photos at the chateau marmont but i managed to pull off this masterpiece after a few alcohols 

notice my precise impersonation of muneeks voice as it slowly takes on a californian accent

Photo 26 Sep 3 notes my tie had to get remixed before the horrendous photoshoot that i tried to look as bad as possible (not even hard have you ever seem me look beautiful in a photo dont include real life im hot i know) in every photo picking the brightest possible locations to infuriate all camera lenses (yeah the tie was legit crooked it wasnt fraudulent like all the other hideous wedding shoots my poor eyes have suffered through) i almost murdered my dad over his misuse of my camera but overall it was a glorious day

my tie had to get remixed before the horrendous photoshoot that i tried to look as bad as possible (not even hard have you ever seem me look beautiful in a photo dont include real life im hot i know) in every photo picking the brightest possible locations to infuriate all camera lenses (yeah the tie was legit crooked it wasnt fraudulent like all the other hideous wedding shoots my poor eyes have suffered through) i almost murdered my dad over his misuse of my camera but overall it was a glorious day

Text 25 Sep 581,318 notes

if we are talking in person and i accidentally spit dont even say anything i saw it and im dead inside

(Source: thesugarhole)

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